🧒 Raising children (tarbiyah) · #40
Our child lives in a boarding school. How can parents continue their upbringing from afar?
Boarding school does not transfer the parents' trust to the school; regular contact, meaningful visits and trust built over time are the main tools of upbringing from a distance.
Every parent is a guardian who will be asked about their charge (Sahih al-Bukhari 893). The Quran records the Prophet Yaʿqub still advising his sons even as they set off on a long journey (Yusuf 12:67), and his final counsel to his children to hold fast to the faith (al-Baqarah 2:132). Practical suggestions: set a weekly call time the child looks forward to, and ask about friends and feelings, not just results; visit or bring them home on schedule; get to know the wardens and teachers; and make sure the child knows they can report bullying or abuse without being scolded. Watch for changes such as refusing to go back, low mood or weight changes. In the holidays, put family time ahead of tuition alone. See Educating the family.
Every parent is a guardian who will be asked about their charge (Sahih al-Bukhari 893). The Quran records the Prophet Yaʿqub still advising his sons even as they set off on a long journey (Yusuf 12:67), and his final counsel to his children to hold fast to the faith (al-Baqarah 2:132). Practical suggestions: set a weekly call time the child looks forward to, and ask about friends and feelings, not just results; visit or bring them home on schedule; get to know the wardens and teachers; and make sure the child knows they can report bullying or abuse without being scolded. Watch for changes such as refusing to go back, low mood or weight changes. In the holidays, put family time ahead of tuition alone. See Educating the family.
Sources
Sahih al-Bukhari 893Surah Yusuf 12:67Surah al-Baqarah 2:132