🧒 Raising children (tarbiyah) · #43
How should parents explain their divorce to their children?
Together if possible, in language suited to their age, without blaming anyone in front of the child, and with the assurance that both parents still love them.
At the time of divorce Allah reminds us not to forget the kindness between spouses (al-Baqarah 2:237), and the children are the most visible kindness they share. What a child most needs to hear: this is not your fault; you do not have to choose; you will still see your father and mother; and what will change in the daily routine. Do not make the child a messenger or a spy. Do not share details of infidelity or quarrels. Expect reactions such as anger, sadness or regression in behaviour; give time and attention. If the child shows signs of prolonged distress, find a child counsellor. See Custody & lineage and Single parents.
At the time of divorce Allah reminds us not to forget the kindness between spouses (al-Baqarah 2:237), and the children are the most visible kindness they share. What a child most needs to hear: this is not your fault; you do not have to choose; you will still see your father and mother; and what will change in the daily routine. Do not make the child a messenger or a spy. Do not share details of infidelity or quarrels. Expect reactions such as anger, sadness or regression in behaviour; give time and attention. If the child shows signs of prolonged distress, find a child counsellor. See Custody & lineage and Single parents.
Sources
Surah al-Baqarah 2:237Surah al-Baqarah 2:233Sahih al-Bukhari 893