🚪 Divorce, ʿiddah & rujuk · #151

My friend has just divorced. What should and shouldn't I say to her?

Listen more than you advise, and offer concrete help, not just ‘if you need anything, let me know’. A sentence like ‘I'm here; tell me when you're ready’ is far more comforting than an analysis of who was at fault. Avoid asking for embarrassing details, comparing with other people's stories, or straight away suggesting a new match. Do not run down her ex-spouse either; she may still have feelings, and her children still love their father or mother. Small help means a lot, for example sending food, going with her to court or minding her children for a while. Get in touch again after a few weeks, because support usually fades just when she needs it most. Allah says: “Help ye one another in righteousness and piety” (Surah al-Ma'idah 5:2). See counselling.

Sources

Surah al-Ma'idah 5:2

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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