Does qawwam mean the husband has absolute power over his wife and family?

Qawwam means the responsibility to protect and provide, not absolute power to command as one pleases. Allah says: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women” (Surah an-Nisa' 4:34), and the word ‘protectors’ there demands protection, maintenance (nafkah) and guidance, not oppression. A good leader serves those he leads and will be asked about them. Use this position to lighten your family's burden, not to add to it. Start by asking what your wife and children need this week, then fulfil one of those needs. Power without a sense of responsibility is not leadership, but tyranny. See rights of husband and wife.