We have just had our first big fight and I am shaken. How do we recover from it?

A first big fight feels shocking, but it is normal and can be a point of learning, not a sign the marriage is cracking. Once both of you are calm, come back and talk about what happened without repeating the attacks. Acknowledge your part first, however small, because that opens the door. Understand what really triggered it; there is often a need or a fear behind anger. Agree on a better way to voice your dissatisfaction next time. Forgive, and do not keep it as a weapon for the future. Couples who learn to make up after fighting become stronger, not more fragile. See communication & emotions.