How can I ask my husband to stand up for me in front of his family without causing a quarrel?

Frame your request as a need for support, not a demand that your husband go against his family. Choose a calm moment and give a specific example: ‘When that was said earlier, I hoped you would take my side, even a little.’ Explain that standing up for you does not mean being undutiful to his parents, but upholding fairness with respect. Distinguish between big matters that truly need defending and small matters that can be let go. Appreciate and praise him every time he stands up for you, so the habit grows. Avoid criticising him in front of his family; sort things out in private. A husband who feels respected finds it easier to be a protector. See communication & emotions.