Why do my wife and children not follow me much even though I give lots of instructions?

A family follows what it sees more than what it hears, so lead by example, not just by instructions. Allah reminds us: “why do you say that which you do not do?” (Surah as-Saff 61:2). If you tell them to pray but delay your own prayer, or tell them to be gentle while raising your voice, your instructions lose their power. Start by improving one practice in yourself before demanding it of others. Give fewer spoken instructions and more examples in action. When your family sees consistency between what you say and what you do, they follow willingly, not under compulsion. A good example is the quietest yet strongest form of leadership. See husbands' course.