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🤍 Character & conduct between spouses · #347

My teenager fights back when I am firm. How do I lead them without losing them?

Teenagers follow leaders they respect and trust, not those who simply raise their voice. At this age, authority comes from the relationship, not from instructions alone. Take time to listen to their views and involve them in some suitable decisions. Set clear boundaries with the reasons behind them, not prohibitions without explanation. When you have to correct them, do it privately, not by shaming them in front of others. Allah says: “Had you been harsh and hard-hearted, they would have dispersed from around you” (Surah Ali 'Imran 3:159). Gentle authority draws teenagers close; harshness pushes them away. See educating the family.

Sources

Surah Ali 'Imran 3:159
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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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