How do I explain the shape of our family to my children without planting hatred?

Children need an explanation that is honest, calm and suited to their age, not a story that plants hostility towards the other side. Explain that their father has another family he also loves, and that this does not lessen his love for them. Avoid making the children an outlet for your anger at your husband or co-wife. Do not use the children as messengers or spies between homes. Encourage good relations with their half-siblings on their father's side if circumstances allow. Answer their questions patiently as they arise, without burdening them with adult matters. Children raised without hatred will accept the family situation more calmly. See relationships between co-wives.