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🤝 Existing wife & prospective wife · #169

I am a divorcee with my own children and have become a second wife. How do I help my children adjust to the new family?

Your children need reassurance that their love and their place are not lost even though the family has grown. Give them time to adjust, and do not force an instant bond with your new husband or his children. Explain your husband's role as a protector, not a replacement for their own father, in a way suited to their age. Make sure maintenance (nafkah) and responsibilities towards your children are clarified with your husband from the start so their rights are protected. Keep the routines and warmth they are used to, to reduce the stress of change. Praise every positive step in adjusting. If a child shows prolonged stress, get help from a counsellor. See prospective second wife.
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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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