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🕊️ Conflict & resolution · #154

After my spouse's infidelity, I feel driven to check their phone all the time. How do I control this urge?

The urge to keep checking is a wound trying to soothe itself, but it often adds to anxiety rather than reducing it. Constant surveillance exhausts you and turns you into a monitor rather than a spouse. Instead of snooping in secret, discuss an agreed level of transparency so your need is met openly. When the urge comes, delay for a moment and turn your attention to dhikr, a walk, or contacting someone supportive. Accept that no amount of checking truly brings peace; that comes from your spouse's real change and your own heart's healing. If this urge is taking over your life, a counsellor can help. See mental health.
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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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