I realise I keep a list of my spouse's faults and bring it out when we fight. How do I stop?

Keeping score of faults weighs down the heart and turns every fight into an old trial. This habit usually signals a wound that has not been resolved, not just a bad habit. Take a calm time to clear up the old matters that still rankle, one by one, then let them go. Once something has been resolved or forgiven, resolve not to bring it up again as a weapon. Replace the habit of counting faults with counting your spouse's good deeds every day. Forgiving and being big-hearted lightens the heart, and a light heart makes a calmer home. If the list is too heavy, a counsellor can help you let it go. See trials in a marriage.