🕊️ Conflict & resolution · #147

I have forgiven my unfaithful spouse, but I cannot trust them again yet. Am I a hypocrite?

No; forgiving and trusting are two different things, and trust genuinely has to be rebuilt gradually. Forgiving means you let go of resentment and do not want to repay wrong with wrong, while trust is confidence rebuilt through evidence of change over time. Allah encourages forgiveness: “and let them forgive and overlook” (Surah an-Nur 24:22), but He does not tell you to pretend nothing happened. Give yourself permission to heal at your own pace. Tell your spouse that trust will return through consistent transparency, not through pressure. See communication & emotions.

Sources

Surah an-Nur 24:22

← PreviousHow do I know whether my unfaithful spouse's repentance is truly sincere?Next →I am torn between continuing the marriage and separating after infidelity. Who can help?

Related questions

I am not ready to leave yet, but I want to be safer in a controlling relationship. What can I do?You can start planning for your safety quietly even before making any big decision. Keep important document…My unfaithful spouse is now blaming me as the cause. How should I understand this?Shifting the blame onto you is a common way for the guilty party to avoid responsibility, and it does not make you the caus…My adult children know their father was unfaithful and are very angry. How do I handle this?Adult children’s anger at their father’s betrayal is natural, but you can guide them so they are not consumed by hat…I say I have forgiven, but the old hurt still comes back up when we argue. Why?Forgiving is a decision to let go of resentment, but the heart’s healing takes time and does not happen insta…My spouse forbids me from seeing family and friends until I am isolated. What should I do?Isolating you from family and friends is one of the most dangerous signs of coercive control, because it …I cheated in the past and have repented. Do I need to tell my spouse?A past sin that has been sincerely repented of is something one is urged to conceal, not to disclose without need.…

This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

Comments or feedback

Read only by the MYPolygyny administrator — never published.

About Us · Ask · Site Map · Privacy · Editorial policy · Disclaimer