💍 Khitbah & engagement · #47

May I see my prospective wife more than once?

One may look again as far as needed to make a decision, but no more than that.
Scholars of the Shafi'i school permit looking more than once if the first look was not enough to judge, because the aim is certainty before marriage. Once the decision has been made, this permission ends and the basic ruling of lowering the gaze applies again. The Prophet ﷺ told Jarir to turn his gaze away when it fell on someone unintentionally, and a deliberate look without need is not permitted. So after the engagement, there is no longer any reason to "look" in the name of khitbah. The look must be without desire, with a chaperone and without seclusion (khalwat). See khitbah.

Sources

Sahih Muslim, Kitab al-AdabSurah an-Nur 24:30Sunan at-Tirmidhi 1087 (hasan)

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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