💍 Khitbah & engagement · #46
The woman has been proposed to but has not yet answered. May I propose to her too?
In the Shafi'i school, yes, as long as the first proposal has not been clearly accepted.
The prohibition on proposing over another's proposal applies once the first proposal has been agreed to. If the woman or her wali is still considering it, or has already declined, another proposal is permitted. The evidence is the hadith of Fatimah bint Qais, who was proposed to by Mu'awiyah and Abu Jahm, and the Prophet ﷺ suggested Usamah without blaming anyone. Even so, good manners mean not speaking ill of the first suitor and not pressuring the woman's family. If it is known that the family are already inclined to accept, it is better to wait. See khitbah.
The prohibition on proposing over another's proposal applies once the first proposal has been agreed to. If the woman or her wali is still considering it, or has already declined, another proposal is permitted. The evidence is the hadith of Fatimah bint Qais, who was proposed to by Mu'awiyah and Abu Jahm, and the Prophet ﷺ suggested Usamah without blaming anyone. Even so, good manners mean not speaking ill of the first suitor and not pressuring the woman's family. If it is known that the family are already inclined to accept, it is better to wait. See khitbah.
Difference of madhhab. Some Hanbali and Maliki scholars also forbid it when the woman's side is already inclined to accept, even if this has not been stated clearly.
Sources
Sahih Muslim, Kitab at-TalaqSahih al-Bukhari 5142Sahih Muslim, Kitab an-Nikah