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🤍 Character & conduct between spouses · #352

I am a short-tempered head of the family and my family is afraid of me. How can I change?

A frightened family is not a sign of successful leadership, but a sign of anger that needs treating. The Prophet ﷺ said: “When one of you becomes angry while standing, let him sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise let him lie down” (Sunan Abu Dawud 4782). Start by recognising the early signs of your anger, and stop before it explodes; excuse yourself for a moment if necessary. Apologise to your family for past anger; that restores trust. Replace harsh orders with calm requests. If your anger is hard to control, get help from a counsellor, because this is strength, not shame. A family that is no longer afraid will begin to draw close and respect you sincerely. See counselling.

Sources

Sunan Abu Dawud 4782 (sahih)
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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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