🧒 Raising children (tarbiyah) · #51

Grandparents spoil the children or interfere with how we raise them. How should we handle it?

Respect them and value their help, but the main decisions about raising the children belong to the parents; set boundaries gently, after husband and wife have agreed between themselves.
Allah commands kindness to parents and not saying "uff" to them (al-Isra' 17:23–24). At the same time, the Quran describes decisions about a child, such as weaning, being made by mutual consent and consultation between the parents (al-Baqarah 2:233). In practice: the husband speaks to his own parents, the wife to hers; choose a few things that really matter (for example sweets before meals, devices, prayer) and let small things go; thank them for their care. Do not argue with the grandparents in front of the grandchildren. Remember, children learn to respect your parents by how you treat them. See In-laws.

Sources

Surah al-Isra' 17:23Surah al-Baqarah 2:233Surah asy-Syura 42:38

← PreviousThe mother works and the child is cared for at a nursery or by a babysitter. Is this neglecting the child's upbringing?Next →Which daily supplications and remembrances should young children be taught first?

Related questions

My teenager has been caught smoking or vaping. What is the ruling and how should it be handled?The National Fatwa Committee Muzakarah has ruled that smoking is forbidden because of its harm, and a special Muzakarah…A young child has been caught stealing or lying. How should this be handled?Handle it calmly and firmly: find the cause, teach honesty, and have the child put the wrong right — without shaming…Our child has been diagnosed with autism or a disability. How should we understand this trial, and what help is available?The child is an equally honoured trust, and this trial is not a punishment; focus on early intervention, support and the…How should children in a polygynous family be raised so that they do not split into factions?By deciding that fairness must be visible in the children's eyes, not merely in the father's reckoning. An-Nahl 16:90 commands jus…I am a father busy with work. How can I play my part in raising my children?Quality and consistency matter more than the number of hours: a small, regular time each day, being present at important…Can praising a child too often spoil them? What is the right way to praise?Honest, specific praise builds a child up; excessive, empty praise can make them dependent on praise or conceited.…

This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

Comments or feedback

Read only by the MYPolygyny administrator — never published.

About Us · Ask · Site Map · Privacy · Editorial policy · Disclaimer