🧒 Raising children (tarbiyah) · #38
A young child has been caught stealing or lying. How should this be handled?
Handle it calmly and firmly: find the cause, teach honesty, and have the child put the wrong right — without shaming them or labelling them a "thief" or "liar".
The Prophet ﷺ corrected a mother who called her son with a promise to give him something, and said that if she did not give it, it would be recorded as a lie (Sunan Abu Dawud 4991). This shows that honesty is taught first by the parents' own example. Young children sometimes take things because they do not yet understand ownership, or lie because they fear harsh punishment. In practice: ask calmly, return the item together with the child and have them apologise, praise honesty when they own up, and reduce punishments that make the child afraid to tell the truth. If it keeps happening at an older age, get help from the school counsellor. See Educating the family.
The Prophet ﷺ corrected a mother who called her son with a promise to give him something, and said that if she did not give it, it would be recorded as a lie (Sunan Abu Dawud 4991). This shows that honesty is taught first by the parents' own example. Young children sometimes take things because they do not yet understand ownership, or lie because they fear harsh punishment. In practice: ask calmly, return the item together with the child and have them apologise, praise honesty when they own up, and reduce punishments that make the child afraid to tell the truth. If it keeps happening at an older age, get help from the school counsellor. See Educating the family.
Sources
Sunan Abu Dawud 4991 (hasan)Sahih al-Bukhari 6094Surah at-Taubah 9:119