How can I disagree with my spouse without it turning into a quarrel?

Disagreeing is normal and healthy; the way it is expressed decides whether it draws you closer or drives you apart. Begin by acknowledging their view before stating yours: ‘I understand why you see it that way. I see it from another angle...’ Focus on the issue, not on calling their view stupid. Start with ‘I’, not with an accusation, so it does not sound like an attack. If you still disagree, look for common ground or agree to differ on matters that are not principles. A mature marriage makes room for two views without one person having to lose. See ways to win hearts.