How do I raise the addiction problem with my spouse without them feeling humiliated?

A compassionate, non-judging approach is more likely to open their heart than harsh warnings. Choose a calm and private moment, and start with your own feelings, not accusations: ‘I miss the times we were close, and I am worried about your health, dear.’ Focus on one or two real examples, not a long list of wrongs. Offer to look for help together, and reassure them you will not leave them to face it alone. Avoid lectures or scolding, which only invite denial. One compassionate conversation opens the way; one attack closes it. See communication & emotions.