🧒 Raising children (tarbiyah) · #54
My teenage daughter refuses to wear the headscarf. Should parents force her?
Covering the aurat is obligatory after puberty, but force and humiliation rarely work; parents need to be firm on the principle and gentle in the method.
The command to cover the aurat is clear in an-Nur 24:31 and al-Ahzab 33:59. Yet Allah teaches calling to the faith with wisdom and good counsel (an-Nahl 16:125), and faith cannot be forced into a heart (al-Baqarah 2:256). Look for the cause of her refusal: peer pressure, feeling unattractive, confusion about the purpose, or protest against something at home. Discuss the meaning of aurat and dignity, not just "because mum says so". Give her room to choose a style that is modest and comfortable. A mother's example and the atmosphere at home are stronger than lectures. Keep stating your position with love, and pray for her; do not cut her off or shame her in front of others. See Modesty & boundaries.
The command to cover the aurat is clear in an-Nur 24:31 and al-Ahzab 33:59. Yet Allah teaches calling to the faith with wisdom and good counsel (an-Nahl 16:125), and faith cannot be forced into a heart (al-Baqarah 2:256). Look for the cause of her refusal: peer pressure, feeling unattractive, confusion about the purpose, or protest against something at home. Discuss the meaning of aurat and dignity, not just "because mum says so". Give her room to choose a style that is modest and comfortable. A mother's example and the atmosphere at home are stronger than lectures. Keep stating your position with love, and pray for her; do not cut her off or shame her in front of others. See Modesty & boundaries.
Sources
Surah an-Nur 24:31Surah al-Ahzab 33:59Surah an-Nahl 16:125Surah al-Baqarah 2:256