MYPolygyny.com
Knowledge for the Muslim household
Flashcards Lineage

Q&A › Raising children (tarbiyah)

🧒 Raising children (tarbiyah) · #176

My child refuses to come along for Raya visiting at the other home. Should I force him?

Do not force your child harshly, but do not let him cut ties completely either; look for a gentle middle way. Ask why he is reluctant, because there may be fear, awkwardness or hurt that needs to be heard. Start with short visits that are not a burden, and accompany him so that he feels safe. Avoid turning the visit into a battleground or a test of loyalty. Ask for the cooperation of his father and, if possible, the co-wife to welcome him warmly without forcing him to be warm straight away. Give it time; good relations between children of the same father are built slowly, not in a day. Praise every small step he takes. See relations between co-wives.
← PreviousThe other home is better off and my child keeps comparing his things. How do I teach qana'ah (contentment)?Next →As a father, how do I make sure gifts and duit raya (festive money) are fair between my children in two homes?

Related questions

My child cried because her father spent Raya morning at the other home. What should I do?Acknowledge your child’s disappointment gently, then help her look forward to the time her father is with your family…The children are confused because the rules at my home and at their mother's home are very different. What should I do?Accept that two homes will not be the same, and focus on keeping your own home’s rules consistently. Children can l…As a father, what is my role in nurturing the relationship between my children in two homes?As the father, you are the main bridge joining the children in two homes into one extended family. Speak of the c…I realise I spoil the children in one home more than the other. How do I stop?Admitting that tendency is the first step; next, correct it deliberately and consistently. The Prophet ﷺ said: “B…The children in my home look down on their siblings in the other home because their circumstances differ. What should I do?That attitude of looking down must be corrected promptly because it contradicts family values and humility. C…My teenager refuses to set foot in my other wife's home. What should I do?Do not force him to go; force only hardens his heart and pushes him away from you. In the teenage years, a child need…
This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

Comments or feedback

Read only by the MYPolygyny administrator — never published.

🔒 Do not include sensitive personal details. Privacy notice

About Us · Ask · Site Map · Privacy · Editorial policy · Disclaimer