🕌 Worship in the home · #39
May a wife or mother visit the grave of her husband or child?
Yes, according to many scholars, as long as she keeps to the etiquette and does not wail; in the Shafi'i school it is disliked for women where wailing or improper conduct is feared, and permitted where it is controlled.
The Prophet ﷺ passed a woman weeping beside a grave and told her to fear Allah and be patient (Sahih al-Bukhari 1283); he did not tell her to go home for visiting the grave, which is taken as evidence that it is permitted. The purpose of the visit is to pray for the deceased and to remember death. Etiquette: greet the people of the graves, pray for their forgiveness, do not sit or step on graves, do not wail or scream, and observe modesty in dress and mixing. A widow in her ʿiddah after her husband's death does not leave the house without need; visiting the grave is postponed until her ʿiddah ends according to the Shafi'i school. See Widows.
The Prophet ﷺ passed a woman weeping beside a grave and told her to fear Allah and be patient (Sahih al-Bukhari 1283); he did not tell her to go home for visiting the grave, which is taken as evidence that it is permitted. The purpose of the visit is to pray for the deceased and to remember death. Etiquette: greet the people of the graves, pray for their forgiveness, do not sit or step on graves, do not wail or scream, and observe modesty in dress and mixing. A widow in her ʿiddah after her husband's death does not leave the house without need; visiting the grave is postponed until her ʿiddah ends according to the Shafi'i school. See Widows.
Sources
Sahih al-Bukhari 1283Surah al-Hasyr 59:10