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💍 Khitbah & engagement · #11

What questions should be asked of a prospective spouse during ta'aruf?

Ask about the things that determine long-term compatibility: religion, character, life goals, finances and family.
Important topics include: prayer and religious commitment; how they handle anger and conflict; career and housing plans; income, debts and dependants; hopes about children and how to raise them; the roles of husband and wife, including a working wife; relations with parents and in-laws; health, including chronic or hereditary illness; and marital history if previously married. If the man is already married or intends polygyny in future, this should be discussed frankly. The Prophet ﷺ advised choosing for religion and character. Questions can be sent through an intermediary or discussed in a chaperoned meeting. See criteria and responsibilities.

Sources

Sahih al-Bukhari 5090Sahih Muslim, Kitab ar-Radha'Sunan at-Tirmidhi 1084 (hasan)
← PreviousWhat is ta'aruf and how does it differ from dating or being a 'couple'?Next →May an engaged couple chat on the phone or WhatsApp every day?

Related questions

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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