MYPolygyny.com
Knowledge for the Muslim household
Flashcards Lineage

Q&A › Khitbah & engagement

💍 Khitbah & engagement · #10

What is ta'aruf and how is it different from dating or being a 'couple'?

Ta'aruf is the process of getting to know each other for the purpose of marriage within the limits of the Shariah, while being a 'couple' is usually a romantic relationship without commitment or limits.
Ta'aruf has a clear aim (marriage), involves the wali or an intermediary, takes place over a reasonable period, and is conducted without khalwat, touching or flirtatious conversation. It usually begins with an exchange of biodata, followed by chaperoned meetings, discussion of life values, and istikharah. Dating, by contrast, often involves being alone together and intimacy that comes close to zina, whereas Allah says "do not come near zina". A good ta'aruf does not necessarily end in marriage; if the two are not compatible, it is ended kindly. See criteria for choosing a spouse.

Sources

Surah al-Isra' 17:32Surah an-Nur 24:30-31Sahih al-Bukhari 5233
← PreviousMy fiancé(e) broke off the engagement without reason. Can I make a claim in the Syariah court?Next →What questions should one ask a prospective spouse during ta'aruf?

Related questions

Can one propose or get engaged while in ihram for hajj or umrah?No; the Prophet ﷺ forbade a person in ihram from marrying, giving in marriage and proposing. Uthman bin Affan r.a. narrated that the…What is the ruling on using matchmaking apps or online ta'aruf?Permissible if used to look for a spouse in a way that keeps within Shariah limits and safety. An app is only a…A married man wants a ta'aruf (getting-to-know) with me with a view to polygyny. What should I ask?Ask about the things that determine fairness and stability: his means, the existing wife's knowledge, and how it will be put…I am engaged to a divorcee or widow(er) who has children. What should be prepared before the marriage?Get to know the children gradually, understand the custody and maintenance arrangements with the former spouse, and discuss your…What questions should be asked of a prospective spouse during ta'aruf?Ask about the things that determine long-term compatibility: religion, character, life goals, finances and family.…May an engaged couple talk on the phone or WhatsApp every day?Communicating about marriage matters is allowed, but affectionate, romantic or excessive conversation is not, as you…
This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

Comments or feedback

Read only by the MYPolygyny administrator — never published.

🔒 Do not include sensitive personal details. Privacy notice

About Us · Ask · Site Map · Privacy · Editorial policy · Disclaimer

✓ Pemindahan pelayan selesai — kini lebih bersedia untuk berkhidmat kepada anda. · Server migration completed — ready to serve you better from now on.