🤍 Character & conduct between spouses · #26
After a quarrel, who should apologise first?
The better one is whoever goes first, husband or wife, even if they feel they were in the right.
The Prophet ﷺ guaranteed a house on the outskirts of Paradise for the one who gives up arguing even when he is in the right (Sunan Abu Dawud 4800). He also said that it is not lawful for a Muslim to shun his brother for more than three nights, and the better of the two is the one who begins with the salam (Sahih al-Bukhari 6077). Apologising first does not mean admitting to everything; it can begin with "I am sorry I raised my voice" before discussing the real issue. An ego that waits for the other to give in usually prolongs the coldness. In a situation of abuse, however, an apology never replaces safety — get help. See Persuasion techniques.
The Prophet ﷺ guaranteed a house on the outskirts of Paradise for the one who gives up arguing even when he is in the right (Sunan Abu Dawud 4800). He also said that it is not lawful for a Muslim to shun his brother for more than three nights, and the better of the two is the one who begins with the salam (Sahih al-Bukhari 6077). Apologising first does not mean admitting to everything; it can begin with "I am sorry I raised my voice" before discussing the real issue. An ego that waits for the other to give in usually prolongs the coldness. In a situation of abuse, however, an apology never replaces safety — get help. See Persuasion techniques.
Sources
Sunan Abu Dawud 4800 (hasan)Sahih al-Bukhari 6077Surah Fussilat 41:34