💰 Family finances · #51
Should we pay our mother or mother-in-law who looks after our children?
It is not obligatory, but giving a reasonable payment or contribution is very fitting, because full-time care of grandchildren is hard work that takes their time and energy.
Islam recognises payment for caring work; the Quran mentions paying women who nurse a child (at-Talaq 65:6) and a hired nurse (al-Baqarah 2:233). Kindness to parents is also a clear command (al-Isra' 17:23–24), and the Prophet ﷺ said that whoever does not thank people is not grateful to Allah (Sunan Abu Dawud 4811). If parents refuse money, help in other ways: cover bills, buy the children's needs and food, give them days off, and respect how they care for the children. Do not assume grandparents are "obliged" to look after grandchildren; they too are entitled to rest in old age. Also agree on hours and rules so there is no misunderstanding. See In-laws.
Islam recognises payment for caring work; the Quran mentions paying women who nurse a child (at-Talaq 65:6) and a hired nurse (al-Baqarah 2:233). Kindness to parents is also a clear command (al-Isra' 17:23–24), and the Prophet ﷺ said that whoever does not thank people is not grateful to Allah (Sunan Abu Dawud 4811). If parents refuse money, help in other ways: cover bills, buy the children's needs and food, give them days off, and respect how they care for the children. Do not assume grandparents are "obliged" to look after grandchildren; they too are entitled to rest in old age. Also agree on hours and rules so there is no misunderstanding. See In-laws.
Sources
Surah at-Talaq 65:6Surah al-Isra' 17:23Sunan Abu Dawud 4811 (sahih)