How do I make my spouse the first person I share secrets and feelings with, rather than someone else?

Your spouse should be your first safe place to open up, and this is built by responding without judgement. If every confidence is met with criticism or spread around, the heart will look elsewhere. Train yourself to listen to your spouse without rushing to judge, and keep their secrets as a trust. Start by sharing small things about your day, then deeper things as trust grows. Avoid complaining about your marriage to outsiders before discussing it with your own spouse. When you are each other's main listener, the relationship becomes a fortress, not a burden. See communication & emotions.