💍 Khitbah & engagement · #27
May we investigate or ask people about a prospective spouse's background?
Yes, and it is encouraged, because marriage is a major decision that requires accurate information.
Ask people who know them: the local imam, employer, colleagues, neighbours or friends, about their prayer, character, financial responsibility and how they treat their family. The Prophet ﷺ himself gave Fatimah bint Qais honest information about the two men who had proposed to her. Do it with proper manners: intend to make a decision, not to dig up faults; do not pry into private matters unlawfully (such as hacking a phone); and keep what you learn confidential. Public records can also be checked, for example marital status at the religious affairs office when applying to marry. See criteria.
Ask people who know them: the local imam, employer, colleagues, neighbours or friends, about their prayer, character, financial responsibility and how they treat their family. The Prophet ﷺ himself gave Fatimah bint Qais honest information about the two men who had proposed to her. Do it with proper manners: intend to make a decision, not to dig up faults; do not pry into private matters unlawfully (such as hacking a phone); and keep what you learn confidential. Public records can also be checked, for example marital status at the religious affairs office when applying to marry. See criteria.
Sources
Sahih Muslim, Kitab at-TalaqSurah al-Hujurat 49:12