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Q&A › Preparation & choosing a spouse

🧭 Preparation & choosing a spouse · #64

What should be expected and prepared for in the first year of marriage?

Expect a period of adjustment: daily habits, money, in-laws and intimacy are all new; small quarrels are normal and not a sign the marriage is failing.
Allah made spouses so that we find tranquillity, and placed affection and mercy between them (ar-Rum 30:21) — that tranquillity is built, not instant. Preparation: agree a budget and who pays for what before the first pay day after the wedding; discuss how often you will visit each other's families; learn how your spouse expresses anger and love; set a routine of praying together; and do not take every disagreement to your parents. Be forgiving of small mistakes, and ask your spouse regularly, "what can I do better?" If there is a serious issue such as violence or deception, do not stay silent because you are "newly married". See Emotional communication.

Sources

Surah ar-Rum 30:21Surah an-Nisa' 4:19Surah asy-Syura 42:38
← PreviousMy future wife does not yet fully cover her aurat. Should I go ahead in the hope she will change?Next →My future husband is an only child who fully supports his parents. What should we discuss before marrying?

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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