🤍 Character & conduct between spouses · #28
May one bring up a spouse's sins or past from before the marriage?
No; sins that have been repented of and concealed by Allah should not be brought up, let alone used as a weapon during a quarrel.
Allah says that He accepts the repentance of His servants and pardons misdeeds (ash-Shura 42:25), and even replaces the evil deeds of those who repent with good ones (al-Furqan 25:70). The Prophet ﷺ said that whoever conceals a Muslim's fault, Allah will conceal his faults on the Day of Resurrection (Sahih al-Bukhari 2442). If you accepted your spouse knowing their past, raising it again in anger — "you were not so good yourself back then" — is unjust and destroys their dignity. If the past still has real effects today, such as debts, a child or an illness, discuss it as a current matter to be managed, not as an insult. See Emotional communication.
Allah says that He accepts the repentance of His servants and pardons misdeeds (ash-Shura 42:25), and even replaces the evil deeds of those who repent with good ones (al-Furqan 25:70). The Prophet ﷺ said that whoever conceals a Muslim's fault, Allah will conceal his faults on the Day of Resurrection (Sahih al-Bukhari 2442). If you accepted your spouse knowing their past, raising it again in anger — "you were not so good yourself back then" — is unjust and destroys their dignity. If the past still has real effects today, such as debts, a child or an illness, discuss it as a current matter to be managed, not as an insult. See Emotional communication.
Sources
Surah asy-Syura 42:25Surah al-Furqan 25:70Sahih al-Bukhari 2442