How can I train myself to remember my spouse's good points and not just their shortcomings?

The heart tends to record hurts and forget kindnesses, so remembering your spouse's good needs deliberate practice. Try this habit: every night, name to yourself one good thing your spouse did that day, however small. Some couples write it in a small notebook to read on hard days. When disappointment comes, recall this list before drawing conclusions. This does not deny problems that need solving, but restores fairness in how you judge. Eyes trained to look for good find their spouse more pleasant than they expected. See communication & emotions.