🤝 Existing wife & prospective wife · #109

Who should I pour out this sadness to without making my husband look bad to others?

The safest place to pour out your heart is Allah, who listens without judging and will never spread your secrets. The Prophet Ya'qub said when overcome with grief: “Indeed, I only complain of my distress and my sorrow to Allah” (Surah Yusuf 12:86). Pour out your heart in sujud and supplication, because no one is hurt there. For human support, choose someone trustworthy and knowledgeable, such as a counsellor or a friend who can keep a secret, not just a companion to gossip with. Unburdening yourself to ease your heart is different from running your husband down to win people to your side. Guarding your tongue from your husband's faults is still required even when you are hurt. See counselling.

Sources

Surah Yusuf 12:86

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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