🏡 Rights & responsibilities · #311

How do we decide when to start having children after marriage?

The decision to start having children is a matter for the two of you, made through discussion, not outside pressure. Allah describes the believers as those whose “affairs are decided by mutual consultation among them” (Surah asy-Syura 42:38). Discuss your health, emotional readiness and financial situation honestly. Planning the spacing of births by permitted means is allowed; consult a doctor about safe options and a religious officer if you are unsure about the ruling on a particular method. Avoid delaying too long just to chase luxury, and do not rush because of pressure either. Pray for righteous offspring when the time comes. See guide to starting married life.

Sources

Surah asy-Syura 42:38

← PreviousMy family and my spouse's family follow different customs. How do we adapt without offending anyone?Next →Marriage is not as beautiful as I once imagined. Does this mean I chose wrongly?

Related questions

Our children are all married now and the house feels empty. How do we adjust?The empty-nest stage is a new beginning for the two of you, not the end of your role. A quiet house may feel stra…My husband embraced Islam after we married. How do we adjust our life together?Welcome this change as a new beginning built slowly, not an overhaul of the household in a single day. Celebrate eac…Our family keeps asking when we will have children. How do I deal with this pressure?Decisions about children belong to the two of you, and you are not obliged to explain this private matter to anyon…After decades of focusing on our children, we feel like strangers to each other. How do we grow close again?The two of you began as a couple before becoming parents, and now it is time to get to know each other again. After ye…We both work different shifts. How do we make sure the children are always looked after and our relationship is cared for?Alternating shifts can be an advantage for childcare, but they need careful coordination and effort to look after the …My in-laws often make snide remarks because we do not have children yet. How can I handle this calmly?The provision of children is in Allah’s hands, and people’s remarks do not change His decree, so do not let them deepen your w…

This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

Comments or feedback

Read only by the MYPolygyny administrator — never published.

About Us · Ask · Site Map · Privacy · Editorial policy · Disclaimer