🧒 Raising children (tarbiyah) · #29

Is it wrong to compare a child with their siblings or cousins to make them work harder?

It is usually harmful; comparison plants feelings of inferiority and jealousy between siblings, whereas Islam requires fairness between children.
The Prophet ﷺ refused to witness a gift given to only one child and said: fear Allah and be fair between your children (Sahih al-Bukhari 2587). That fairness covers not just property but also attention, praise and words. The story of the Prophet Yusuf shows how feeling sidelined can drive siblings to terrible acts (Yusuf 12:8–9). Compare the child with themselves: "last month you read one page, now two". Every child has different strengths; identify them and value them. See Educating the family.

Sources

Sahih al-Bukhari 2587Surah Yusuf 12:8Surah al-Hujurat 49:11

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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