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🤍 Character & conduct between spouses · #261

Our relationship feels like a transaction of gains and losses. How do we bring back sincerity?

Love is not a profit-and-loss account; when every kindness is measured to be repaid, sincerity is lost. Do good out of love and for the sake of Allah, not merely waiting for an equal return. Avoid keeping a 'record' of who does more and demanding it during arguments. Give without reminding them of it, and appreciate your spouse's giving however small. If things feel one-sided for a long time, discuss it calmly, not with a list of debts. A sincere relationship feels light; one full of calculation feels exhausting. Start by giving one kindness today without expecting anything back. Intend your giving as worship. See communication & emotions.
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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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