💍 Khitbah & engagement · #66
My parents "engaged" me to a cousin when I was a child. Am I bound by that agreement?
No. Marriage requires your consent as an adult; a family promise made in childhood is only a wish, not a contract.
The Prophet ﷺ said that a previously married woman is not married off until she is consulted and a virgin is not married off until her permission is sought (Sahih al-Bukhari 5136), and he annulled the marriage of a woman whose father married her off against her will (Sahih al-Bukhari 5138). Malaysian law also requires the consent of both parties (Act 303 s.13). If you do not agree, say so respectfully to your parents and, if needed, through a respected mediator, so that family relations are not damaged. If you do agree, a formal engagement can take place when both are adults and ready. See the question on forced marriage.
The Prophet ﷺ said that a previously married woman is not married off until she is consulted and a virgin is not married off until her permission is sought (Sahih al-Bukhari 5136), and he annulled the marriage of a woman whose father married her off against her will (Sahih al-Bukhari 5138). Malaysian law also requires the consent of both parties (Act 303 s.13). If you do not agree, say so respectfully to your parents and, if needed, through a respected mediator, so that family relations are not damaged. If you do agree, a formal engagement can take place when both are adults and ready. See the question on forced marriage.