Every time we fight, we bring up old matters. How do we stop and focus on the real issue?

Bringing up old matters in every fight turns one small issue into a big war. Things that have been forgiven should be left in the past, not raised as weapons. Agree on a rule together: one fight, one issue only. When you feel the urge to bring up the past, notice it and return to the issue at hand. If an old wound is actually still unresolved, discuss it separately at a calm time, not throw it out in anger. Forgiving means giving up the right to bring it up again. Focusing on solving today's problem moves you forward, instead of going round in circles in the past. See communication & emotions.

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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