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Q&A › Preparation & choosing a spouse

🧭 Preparation & choosing a spouse · #53

Is it necessary to learn about intimacy before marriage, or is it shameful?

It is necessary and not shameful, as long as it comes from proper sources; knowing the rulings, etiquette and sexual health protects a couple from pain, misunderstanding and sin.
The women Companions were not shy to ask the Prophet ﷺ about matters such as the obligatory bath and wet dreams (Sahih al-Bukhari 282), and Allah gives guidance on marital relations in the Quran (al-Baqarah 2:222–223). The basics to understand: the rulings during menstruation and postnatal bleeding, the obligatory bath, etiquette and supplications, the prohibition of anal intercourse, consent and gentleness, and basic anatomy and reproductive health. The sources are the pre-marriage course, recognised books on the fiqh of marriage and doctors — not pornography. Discuss expectations briefly and politely with your future spouse as the contract draws near. See Etiquette between spouses.

Sources

Sahih al-Bukhari 282Surah al-Baqarah 2:222Surah al-Baqarah 2:223
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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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