🧭 Preparation & choosing a spouse · #150

My relationship with my own father is distant. Should I repair it before marrying?

Yes, try, because family wounds left untended are often carried into the new household. For a daughter, her father is her wali for the marriage, and the blessing of parents brings calm on the day of the akad. Start with small steps that do not demand long discussions, such as visiting him, bringing his favourite food, or asking after his health. If there are matters to resolve, choose just one first and raise it without accusing. You cannot control his reaction, but you can make sure the effort comes from your side. If the relationship ever involved mistreatment, keep your own boundaries and get a counsellor's support. The Prophet ﷺ said of two people at odds: “The better of the two is the one who greets first” (Sahih al-Bukhari 6077). See counselling.

Sources

Sahih al-Bukhari 6077

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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