💍 Khitbah & engagement · #69

Our two families follow very different customs. How do we handle this before the wedding?

First distinguish between customs that do not conflict with religion, which can be celebrated, and practices that go against the Shariah or are burdensome, which should be left aside. Sit down with both sides early and discuss expectations about the wedding, the gifts (hantaran) and the ceremonies, before feelings get hurt. Find a middle way that honours both families without debt or waste. Let the couple act as one team, each gently conveying the decisions to their own family. If a question arises about the ruling on a particular custom, refer to the religious affairs office. Hold the wedding for the sake of Allah and to strengthen family ties, not to show off. See khitbah (proposal).

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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