I am a mother asked to make the first enquiry (merisik) for my son. What questions are appropriate to ask the girl's family?

Ask things that help the two families make a decision, not things that embarrass the hosts. Start by asking whether the young woman is already spoken for or considering another proposal. Then ask gently about her studies, career and religious practice, and the family's hopes about a suitable time. Avoid questions about the parents' income, medical history or family shame, especially in front of others. Bring only one or two people who know how to hold their tongue. End by giving them space, for example: ‘We are not asking for an answer today. Please discuss it with your daughter first.’ See etiquette of the merisik visit.