What is the right conduct when the first wife and the second wife meet at a family gathering?

Basic manners between Muslims are enough: give the salam, speak politely, make no snide remarks and do not turn the gathering into a contest.
Allah forbids mockery, finding fault and calling others by offensive nicknames (al-Hujurat 49:11), as well as suspicion and backbiting (49:12). A close relationship is not required; what is required is not to cause hurt. The husband carries the greatest responsibility: do not show excessive affection to one wife in front of the other, arrange seating and shared tasks fairly, and do not compare them. The children of both households are watching too. If the atmosphere is still tense, there is nothing wrong with attending at different times or talking things through first with a mediator. See Relations between co-wives.

Sources

Surah al-Hujurat 49:11Surah al-Hujurat 49:12Surah an-Nisa' 4:129

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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