🏡 Rights & responsibilities · #37
The husband wants many children; the wife wants to delay or limit them. Who has the right to decide?
Decisions about children are a shared right; they must be negotiated, because offspring are the right of both and it is the wife who carries the pregnancy.
The Quran describes matters concerning a child, such as weaning, being decided by mutual consent and consultation between husband and wife (al-Baqarah 2:233). Shafi'i scholars state that coitus interruptus (ʿazl) with a free wife should be with her permission because offspring are her right too; the same principle applies the other way. Planning the spacing of births for the mother's health and the ability to raise children is permitted, unlike refusing children altogether without reason. Consider the wife's health (for instance after a caesarean), finances, and the ability to give each child attention. Ask a doctor about safe methods. If you cannot agree, a counsellor can help. See the question on family planning.
The Quran describes matters concerning a child, such as weaning, being decided by mutual consent and consultation between husband and wife (al-Baqarah 2:233). Shafi'i scholars state that coitus interruptus (ʿazl) with a free wife should be with her permission because offspring are her right too; the same principle applies the other way. Planning the spacing of births for the mother's health and the ability to raise children is permitted, unlike refusing children altogether without reason. Consider the wife's health (for instance after a caesarean), finances, and the ability to give each child attention. Ask a doctor about safe methods. If you cannot agree, a counsellor can help. See the question on family planning.
Sources
Surah al-Baqarah 2:233Sahih Muslim, Kitab an-NikahSurah al-Baqarah 2:195