🤝 Existing wife & prospective wife · #131

How do I adjust my expectations of marriage after my husband takes another wife?

Adjusting expectations is not lowering yourself, but seeing the real situation so you are not hurt again and again by old expectations. Before, you may have expected all of your husband's time and attention, and now the reality has changed. Rethink what truly matters to you: good treatment, fairness in the rota (turn of nights) and maintenance (nafkah), and sincere affection when you are together. State these reasonable expectations to your husband clearly. At the same time, build sources of happiness outside the marriage: worship, children, friendships and your own interests. Realistic expectations, paired with rights claimed in a good way, reduce daily disappointment. This is a process, not a one-off decision. See existing wife.

← PreviousHow can I forgive my husband for the sake of my own peace, even though it still hurts?Next →How do I tell the difference between protecting my dignity and just following my ego after my husband takes another wife?

Related questions

After my husband married again, I want to go back to work to be more independent. Do I need his permission?Discuss it with him and seek his agreement as a matter of marital courtesy; wanting financial independence after he t…After my husband took another wife, I am confused about whether I still love him. Is this normal?Wounded love can indeed become blurred for a while, and this confusion is normal, not a sign that your marriage is cer…Since finding out my husband will take another wife, I have neglected looking after myself. How do I start caring for myself again?Looking after yourself is not a sign that you are not sad, but a way of making sure you are strong enough to get throu…On the day my husband marries his new wife, how do I manage my feelings?Plan that day in advance so you do not face it with an open, unprotected heart. Decide early how you want t…My husband has been polygynous for a long time, but I still suddenly feel sad. Does this mean I have failed?Sadness that comes now and then even after a long time is not a sign of failure, but a sign that you once loved so…When it is my husband's turn to be with me, I feel awkward and distant. How do I make the most of that time?Your turn together is precious time, so avoid filling it with arguments about the other household. Feeling aw…

This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

Comments or feedback

Read only by the MYPolygyny administrator — never published.

About Us · Ask · Site Map · Privacy · Editorial policy · Disclaimer