🧒 Raising children (tarbiyah) · #115
Every time my teenager opens up, I start giving advice straight away until he stops talking. What should I do?
Hold back on advice for a while, because what a teenager needs first is to be heard, not corrected. When you cut in with a lecture, your child learns that opening up to you only invites nagging, and he turns to someone else. Try listening to the end, nodding, and reflecting his feelings back, for example: ‘Sounds like today was really exhausting.’ Save advice for later, and ask permission before giving it by asking whether he wants your view or just wants to be heard. One patient session of listening builds more trust than ten good pieces of advice. More guidance is in educating the family.