🏡 Rights & responsibilities · #50
Intimacy on the wedding night or early in the marriage is difficult and painful. What should be done?
This is more common than people think; do not rush, talk gently, and if pain or difficulty continues, see a doctor, because it can be treated.
Allah describes husband and wife as garments for one another (al-Baqarah 2:187) and tells us to send forth good for ourselves (al-Baqarah 2:223), which scholars understand to include affection before intimacy. Pressure to "succeed" on the first night, anxiety, lack of knowledge or medical conditions such as vaginismus or erectile difficulties can cause problems. In practice: take days if needed; avoid any pressure; use a lubricant if needed; and seek treatment from a family doctor, gynaecologist or urologist. It is no shame to tell a doctor. Do not let relatives press for "proof" of the wedding night. See Etiquette between spouses.
Allah describes husband and wife as garments for one another (al-Baqarah 2:187) and tells us to send forth good for ourselves (al-Baqarah 2:223), which scholars understand to include affection before intimacy. Pressure to "succeed" on the first night, anxiety, lack of knowledge or medical conditions such as vaginismus or erectile difficulties can cause problems. In practice: take days if needed; avoid any pressure; use a lubricant if needed; and seek treatment from a family doctor, gynaecologist or urologist. It is no shame to tell a doctor. Do not let relatives press for "proof" of the wedding night. See Etiquette between spouses.
Sources
Surah al-Baqarah 2:187Surah al-Baqarah 2:223Surah an-Nisa' 4:19