💍 Khitbah & engagement · #37

Is an engagement ceremony sunnah or custom? May it be held on a grand scale?

An engagement ceremony is a permissible custom, not a specific sunnah; what is recommended is the walimah after the contract.
Islam permits customs ('uruf) that do not conflict with the Shariah, such as the proposal delegation, the betel-leaf tray (tepak sirih) and the groom's mother placing the ring. However, an engagement ceremony is not obligatory and may be kept simple. Avoid extravagance, going into debt merely for show, free mixing, physical contact between the couple, and photo sessions that breach the limits of modesty (ʿawrah). Some families choose only a small family meeting and go straight to setting the wedding date; that is also good. Save money for more important things such as the mahr, housing and starting the household. See khitbah.

Sources

Surah al-Isra' 17:26-27Surah al-A'raf 7:31

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Related questions

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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