💍 Khitbah & engagement · #90

During the proposal, the woman's family set many conditions. How do we weigh which are reasonable?

Distinguish conditions that protect the future wife's welfare from conditions that are merely for show. Conditions such as a safe place to live, permission to continue her studies or clear maintenance (nafkah) are usually reasonable and worth discussing. Conditions such as a particular hall or a particular number of guests are better negotiated. Do not agree to something you know you cannot fulfil. The Prophet ﷺ said: “The condition that is most rightful for you to fulfil is the condition by which you make lawful the private parts” (Sahih al-Bukhari 2721). Give an honest answer, for example: ‘This one we can do; that one we need time for.’ See conditions in the marriage contract.

Sources

Sahih al-Bukhari 2721

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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