🤝 Existing wife & prospective wife · #55
My husband asks me (the first wife) to look after my co-wife's children while he works. Am I obliged to?
No; caring for a co-wife's children is a kindness, not a wife's duty. Responsibility for their care lies with the children's parents, and the husband should ask kindly and show appreciation if you agree.
Allah commands husbands to live with their wives in kindness (an-Nisa' 4:19), and every parent is the guardian of their children (Sahih al-Bukhari 893). If you agree, it is a great kindness and can bring the family closer; those children are paternal siblings of your own. But your husband cannot force you, and must consider your own load. Discuss clear terms: how often, who bears the costs, and discipline rules agreed with the children's mother. If you cannot manage, decline kindly and suggest an alternative such as a babysitter. See the question on treating a co-wife's children.
Allah commands husbands to live with their wives in kindness (an-Nisa' 4:19), and every parent is the guardian of their children (Sahih al-Bukhari 893). If you agree, it is a great kindness and can bring the family closer; those children are paternal siblings of your own. But your husband cannot force you, and must consider your own load. Discuss clear terms: how often, who bears the costs, and discipline rules agreed with the children's mother. If you cannot manage, decline kindly and suggest an alternative such as a babysitter. See the question on treating a co-wife's children.
Sources
Surah an-Nisa' 4:19Sahih al-Bukhari 893Surah al-Baqarah 2:286